


Only in Dreams

by supernatural9917



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Castiel is married to the djinn queen, Dean Winchester Wears Panties, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, djinn dream, elements of dubious consent due to djinn dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:48:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24061618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernatural9917/pseuds/supernatural9917
Summary: Time to move on. That’s what he had said to Dean, but even as he was walking out the door, Castiel knew that moving on wasn’t really an option. With no hope in this life, he decides to create a new one for himself with a little help from his wife, the djinn queen. A vial of djinn venom sends him to a dream world where all his deepest wishes can come true.When Dean takes dream root to bring Cas out of the dream he apparently chose to enter, he doesn’t expect to find the cosy, domestic life he walks into. Cas has a cottage, a garden… and a very familiar husband.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, mention of Castiel/Queen Djinn
Comments: 25
Kudos: 206
Collections: Perfect Pair Bang 2020 (Official)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Yay, we finally get to post this! I feel like it's been in the works for ages, since the first anonymous chats in the matchmaking phase of this bang. It's been delightful working with dmsilvis, who made so much amazing art despite being crazy busy with real life commitments. I wrote most of the words, but this story was really a team effort. Be sure to check out the art masterpost [here](https://dmsilvisart.tumblr.com/post/618092342067462144/only-in-dreams-art-masterpost) and give it lots of love!

_Time to move on_. That’s what he had said to Dean, but even as he was walking out the door, Castiel knew that moving on wasn’t really an option. How does one move on from the only life they’ve ever known? From the only _love_ they’ve ever known? Castiel didn’t know how to do that. He had never really expected to live that love, for Dean to respond to that love with his own, but he had at least expected to spend the rest of his days by Dean’s side; to live with him, and, most likely, to die for him.

Now… now he was adrift, without a purpose, without a family, without Heaven… without Dean.

He began to drive east with no real purpose, stopping only for gas; his power was still sufficient to get him through without sleep or food, but he suspected it wouldn’t be long before he succumbed to those needs. It wasn’t until he found himself parked at JFK airport that he realised he had formulated a plan.

Getting a flight to Amman was straightforward- thankfully he was still able to use his ‘Jedi mind tricks’ (as Dean called them) to convince the airport staff that he had a ticket and a passport. Getting from Amman to the outskirts of Deir ez-Zor, on the banks of the Euphrates River, was much less enjoyable, but he survived the day-long journey with little more inconvenience than dust on his coat. He approached the Tree of Life with hands outstretched to show he meant no harm.

‘ _My_ _queen, my wife, I call to thee_ ,’ he chanted in Arabic, his voice growing louder until at last three djinn warriors appeared to stop his progress. Behind them, the queen appeared, her skin glowing brightly with her markings and her eyes shining with blue light as she smiled.

‘ _Malak alzawj_!’ she cried out cheerfully. ‘My angel husband! I did not expect to see you again- certainly not so soon. Do you require more of the fruit?’

‘No, my queen. I have a different favour to ask.’

The queen clapped her hands and shouted, ‘ _Leave us_!’ The guards disappeared, and the queen took Castiel’s hand to lead him to her boudoir. ‘What is it you wish this time, Castiel?’

‘I wish to be put in a dream.’

This was clearly not what the queen expected to hear. ‘A dream? You realise what you are asking, _malak_?’

‘I’m asking to escape into a life worth living, however false it may be. I assume this means you’ll feed from me, and that I will eventually die.’ His tone was flat, matter of fact. The emotions he had once been so proud to feel now just burned him inside, and he longed to feel numb- to feel nothing.

‘You are an odd one, Castiel. I have met a few _almalayika_ in my time, but none such as you.’

Castiel laughed bitterly. ‘So I’ve been told. Will you help me?’

The queen gave him an appraising look as she considered her answer. ‘You are not in a position to make this choice, husband. Your heart is sick. I will not feed from you.’ Castiel opened his mouth to interrupt, but she silenced him with a raised hand. ‘But I will give you my _sma_. You may take it home with you, but you must make me a promise: first you will try to cure your heartsickness. Only if you do not succeed will you take it.’

Castiel nodded solemnly. ‘I promise.’

‘Good. Understand, this will be different than if given to a human. The combination of my power and your grace will keep you in the dream as long as you wish to remain in it. However, it will also slowly use up your grace to keep you alive. If it is completely depleted, you will become human and eventually die. 

‘My grace is… not what it used to be,’ Castiel replied. ‘How long will I have?’

‘I do not know, husband. It could be days, it could be months, it could be years. That is the risk you take- choose wisely when to use it.’ She reached for a beautiful glass bottle on a shelf and held it tightly in her hands. Her skin glowed with the blue tattoos that appeared on her skin, and the light transferred into the bottle. When it was full, she put in a glass stopper and handed it to him, folding his fingers around it with her own. ‘If you change your mind and wish to return here, I would not be opposed to making our marriage more than merely symbolic,’ she said with a sly grin. 

Castiel couldn’t help but smile, and took her hand to kiss it. ‘I am again humbled by your generosity, my queen. Thank you.’

**********

As soon as he landed at JFK, Castiel checked his messages to find a large number from Sam, both text and voicemail. He replied to say he was two days’ drive from Lebanon and was on his way. Normally, he would have driven straight through, but the long journey had depleted his already ropey power, and he decided to stop at a motel in some podunk Indiana town to sleep and recuperate. When he was an hour out from Lebanon, he texted Sam, who asked to meet at a diner nearby. Castiel inhaled sharply as he pulled into the parking lot and saw the Impala, but when he walked in, the booth contained only Sam.

‘Hey, Cas!’ Sam called, waving him over, and greeted him with a hug. ‘What’ve you been up to?’

Castiel shrugged. ‘This and that. How are you?’

‘Oh, man, you will not believe the last few days.’ Sam filled him in on the sudden appearance of Eileen’s ghost, finding Rowena’s journals, and completing the spell to bring Eileen back. Sam was so happy, Castiel almost didn’t want to ruin the mood by asking after his brother, but he had promised the queen that he would first try to cure his heartsickness.

‘And how’s Dean?’

Sam’s smile disappeared, and he shifted in his seat. ‘Uh, he’s, ya know, Dean. He said to say hi.’

‘Did he?’ Castiel asked with a raised eyebrow.

‘Well… not exactly.’ Sam looked uncomfortable. ‘He won’t tell me what happened between you, just that you left.’

‘Sam, I…’ he sighed. ‘Did you tell Dean you were meeting me?’

‘Yeah, I did.’

‘And what did he actually say?’

‘He said he didn’t want to see you right now,’ Sam admitted begrudgingly. ‘But you know how Dean is. He’ll be pissed off for a while, but he’ll come around.’

Castiel smiled sadly and stood up. ‘I don’t think that’s true this time, Sam. It was good to see you, and please give my best wishes to Eileen.’

‘Dude, wait.’ Sam stood as well, blocking Castiel’s path. ‘Where are you going now?’

‘Does it matter? I’m practically useless to you now, and Dean refuses even to be in the same building as me. Like I told him, it’s time for me to move on.’ He tightly embraced Sam, who hugged back with more than a little confusion. ‘Goodbye.’

‘Bye, Cas.’ 

Castiel didn’t look back.

**********

The motel had probably only been shuttered for a couple of weeks, and the owners had apparently decided to leave the utilities on to make the place more attractive to prospective buyers. Castiel parked across the street and chose the farthest room from the closed office. Opening the door was easy. Castiel took off his shoes, trenchcoat, suit jacket and tie, and got into a comfortable seated position on the bed.

The stoppered vial of djinn poison glowed on the nightstand, swirling and alive. It reminded him of grace, full of power, but this bottle wouldn’t make him whole again. The best he could hope for was that the queen’s magic was powerful enough to discern his true desires and give him happiness- however false- for what remained of his life.

With his angel blade, Castiel made a small cut in his arm. Grace glowed through, too weak to heal the cut quickly. He unstoppered the vial, took a deep breath, and poured it into the wound. He had just enough time to lean back against the pillows before his eyes closed and the world went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: slightly dubious consent, see end notes for details

‘I’m telling you, man, something wasn’t right.’

‘Cas is a big boy, he can make his own decisions,’ Dean snapped, taking another glug of bourbon straight from the bottle to punctuate his point.

Sam gave his brother an exasperated eye roll, the latest of many over the last few days. Whenever the topic of Castiel came up, Dean would shut down, and as the days wore on, the bottles became more numerous and emptied faster. Now that he had seen Castiel, Sam was convinced that there was a lot more to the story than Dean had volunteered- no surprise there- and that something had to be done about it.

‘I’m serious, Dean. I’ve never seen Cas so… defeated. It’s like he’s just given up.’

‘Great. Then maybe he’ll stop fucking things up all the time.’

‘Dean! What the hell?’

‘Oh come on, Sam, you know it’s true. Things always go wrong, and he always seems to be right there when they do.’

Sam looked at his brother with disgust. ‘That’s because he’s always _right there_ , Dean. There when we need him, always having our backs.’ Dean looked away, and that’s when Sam knew what had happened. ‘Holy shit. You told him that, didn’t you? You blamed him for everything.’

‘Not everything,’ Dean mumbled, taking another long sip.

‘Jesus. You really can be an asshole sometimes.’ Ignoring Dean’s grumblings, Sam picked up his phone and dialled Castiel’s number, just to check on him. It went straight to voicemail. ‘Hey Cas, it’s Sam. Just wanted to see if you’re OK, you seemed upset earlier. I know Dean was a dick, but I’m still your friend, so just give me a call and let me know you’re OK. Bye.’

‘ _I’m still your friend_ ,’ Dean repeated in a mocking tone. ‘Why don’t you just go after him and you guys can braid your hair?’

‘Shut the fuck up, Dean. I’m sick of your stupid act. Cas is our friend, our _brother_ , and you’re not fooling anybody. The last time you acted like this was when Cas was dead. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.’

‘He’s not my brother,’ Dean growled. ‘He’s never been my brother.’

‘Wow, determined to be a cruel dick even when he’s not here, huh?’ Sam shook his head.

‘That’s not what I mean.’ Dean polished off the last of the bottle and set it down, missing the table by half an inch but ignoring the thud of the bottle as it hit the floor. ‘I don’t mean it in a bad way. I told him he was a brother, but that’s… that’s not how I saw him.’ He stared at his clenched fists sitting on the table and willed Sam to understand what he meant without him needing to spell it out.

‘You… oh! Huh. Never thought you’d actually admit it.’

‘What?’ Dean asked, shocked.

‘What, you thought I didn’t notice the staring, the tension, the way you practically killed yourself the last time he died and how as soon as he came back the first thing you did was live out your cowboy fetish with him?’ Sam smirked at Dean’s stunned expression.

‘OK. Then you know why it’s better that he’s gone.’

‘I really don’t follow that logic.’

‘I’m poison, Sam. He’s better off without me. I lo-’ Dean swallowed hard and shook his head. ‘I feel the way I feel about him, but I still treated him like shit. Like something expendable. Jesus, I sent him off to Hell with that fucking demon saying he’d done it before- yeah, to get my worthless, ungrateful ass out of there! He deserves better. He deserves to move on.’

Sam stared at Dean with bewilderment. ‘You really are a complete idiot, aren’t you? When has Cas ever expressed wanting anything but you?’ Sam didn’t wait for Dean to reply before walking away.

**********

‘Come on, Cas, pick up,’ Dean muttered, ear to the phone for the fifth time in as many hours. It had been two days since Sam had seen Castiel and stopped talking to Dean. In that time, Dean had done a lot of thinking, even more drinking, and had decided that Sam might have a bit of a point. If nothing else, Sam didn’t deserve to lose his friendship with Castiel just because Dean was a dick. 

But he couldn’t do anything about it if Castiel didn’t answer his damn phone.

As if reading his mind, Sam picked that moment to stick his head into Dean’s room. ‘Hey. Uh, I think we’ve got a problem.’

‘What now?’

‘I’ve been tracking Cas’s phone since he left the diner. He got to a location at the edge of Lebanon a few minutes later, and he hasn’t moved since.’

‘You think he ditched his phone?’

‘I don’t know. But I’d feel better if we checked it out.’

‘What’s the location?’

‘A closed motel.’

‘That’s not creepy at all. OK, let’s go.’ Dean grabbed a duffle bag and started loading it with a variety of weapons.

‘You sure you wanna go?’

‘My mess, I’ll clean it up. You comin’?’

They were in the Impala within a few minutes, and at the abandoned motel ten minutes after that. Castiel’s truck was parked in a far corner of the parking lot, and they approached it first. It was empty and didn’t seem to have been meddled with in any way, so they made their way to the room nearest the truck. The curtains were drawn and the door was locked. Sam knocked but got no reply, so Dean got out his lockpicking kit and had it open in seconds. The scene they came upon was not what they had expected.

Castiel’s coat, suit jacket and tie sat neatly folded on a chair with his shoes on the floor underneath it. Castiel himself sat on the bed, sleeves rolled up, eyes closed, looking for all the world like he’d just drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Dean’s stomach roiled and his heart pounded; he had only seen Castiel look like that once, on the ground, with the ashes of his burned-out wings around him.

‘Cas!’ he cried out, running to the angel’s side, but Castiel didn’t even twitch. Dean shook him, cradled his face, but there was no reaction. He was still warm, hot even, clearly alive, but completely unresponsive. ‘C’mon, Cas, what the hell?’

‘Dean, check it out.’ Sam held up the vial, a few blueish-purple drops remaining in the bottom. ‘Do you think he took something?’

‘You think he pulled a Juliet?’ He grabbed the vial and examined the drops. ‘You know what this kinda looks like?’

‘Djinn venom?’

‘Smarty pants. How’d you figure it out?’ 

‘There are Arabic carvings on the glass. Cas seems to be in some kind of trance or coma. He’s technically married to a djinn queen. It made sense.’

‘He’s fucking _what_?’

Sam rolled his eyes. ‘That’s how he got the fruit from the Tree of Life. He told me about it after we got back from Scooby. You must have been too busy trying on your ascot.’

‘Shut up. This is nuts. Why would he put himself in a djinn dream?’

‘I don’t know,’ Sam replied, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. ‘Why would he want to escape this amazing real world we have and go into a dream world where he could have everything he desires? Tough one.’

‘OK, OK, I get it, you’re pissed at me and love sarcasm. Help me get him out of here, we’ll take him back to the bunker.’ Sam didn’t argue, just picked up Castiel’s discarded clothes and tucked them under his arm while helping Dean manoeuvre Castiel himself off the bed. Between them they managed to get him into the backseat of the Impala, then Sam took Castiel’s keys and followed Dean home in the truck. They put Castiel in an infirmary bed, and Dean immediately stalked off to the storeroom where they kept most of their spell ingredients.

‘What’s the plan now?’ Sam asked, hurriedly following his brother.

‘Dream root,’ Dean replied, giving Sam a handful of it. ‘We gotta get Cas out of his head.’

‘OK, but this isn’t enough for two doses.’

‘I need you to stay out here and keep an eye on us. I’m going in alone.’

‘Are you sure that’s a good idea?’

‘It’s gotta be me. Profound bond and all that shit. Come on, let’s brew it up.’ They took the ingredients to the kitchen and made the foul substance before returning to the infirmary. Dean took off his shoes and sat beside him on the bed. ‘Bottoms up.’ He downed the dream root with a grimace. ‘God, that stuff’s so gross. OK, hopefully back soon.’ 

He only just heard Sam say sweet dreams, and then he was out. When he next opened his eyes, he was in a lush garden outside an adorable country cottage. Castiel didn’t seem to be out here, so Dean peered in the window and was taken aback by the sight. Castiel was in the cottage’s kitchen, chopping vegetables and putting them in a large pot. By the way he was moving his hips and bopping his head, the radio was probably on and he was half dancing to the music while he cooked. And on the hand currently holding the carrot he suddenly picked up and used as a microphone was…

A wedding ring.

Fuck. Castiel’s dream life was a cosy little cottage with a lovely garden, and a wife to share it with. Dean couldn’t see the wife, but he figured it would be Meg, or maybe that chick he was married to when he was Emmanuel- Dana? No, Daphne. Dean could definitely see why this dream world was far preferable to their reality, and it broke his heart a little to have to drag Castiel out of here. 

He waited until Castiel left the kitchen and went out a door that looked like it led to the back garden before sneaking in the front door. He hoped the dream wife wasn’t home so he could avoid that whole confrontation- he would find it difficult not to just stab the crap out of the djinn creation that was making Castiel so happy that he sang and danced around his adorable kitchen.

The inside of the cottage was as homey and comfortable as it had looked from the outside, with overstuffed furniture and assorted knick-knacks. There was a bookshelf full of pictures and photo albums, and Dean gave in to the temptation to see who Castiel would have in his happy life. He smiled when the first picture he saw was of Castiel with him and Sam, having some beers and laughing together. He wondered who had taken the picture- maybe the mysterious wife had been behind the camera, and the smile dropped off his face at that thought.

There were picture frames showing Castiel with some of the other angels they’d known in what were clearly family photos- Hannah, Gabriel and Samandriel standing with Castiel next to a much older looking Chuck. Even with everything that was happening, Castiel’s mind still recognised Chuck as his father, it seemed. A picture of what looked like college-aged Castiel and Balthazar wearing matching Stanford sweatshirts, their arms around each other and big smiles on their faces; another of Castiel and Meg dressed in Halloween costumes and looking drunk and goofy. 

A picture of Dean and Castiel in matching tuxedos, holding hands under a flowered arch, Bobby between them holding a book and matching bright smiles on their faces. It was clearly a wedding photo. Castiel wasn’t married to Meg or Daphne.

He was married to Dean.

The next shelf down had photo albums, and Dean picked out the one labelled ‘Wedding’ in fancy calligraphy. The contents confirmed his suspicion- the pictures were all of him and Castiel, looking as happy and in love as any two people could look. Dean teared up at the picture of the two of them with Dean’s family, not just Sam but both their parents, looking older but healthy and happy, smiling with clear joy and pride, and Eileen, in a flowing dress that accentuated a baby bump. He was going to be an uncle, maybe already was one. His eyes burned with unshed tears. Castiel’s dream life was fucking _awesome_ , and Dean wanted it too.

‘You’re home early,’ said a deep voice beside his ear just as strong arms wrapped around his waist from behind and soft lips pressed a kiss against the back of his neck. Dean jumped and the person took a step back, chuckling. ‘Sorry. I know, I need a bell. I didn’t mean to startle you.’

Dean swallowed hard as he took in this dream life Castiel up close. His hair was in its usual semi-disheveled state, his eyes were their usual bluer-than-blue, but that was about all that was the same. This Castiel was extra tan from spending time in his garden, and he wore an old Metallica t-shirt (that Dean recognised as one of his own in the real world) and ripped jeans that made his thighs look amazing. He had dirt under his nails, his cheeks were pink with a smudge of dirt on one side, and he had a hint of sunburn around his collar. He was gorgeous. He was human. He was in love with Dean. 

Fuck.

‘Dean, is everything OK?’ He tilted his head and squinted, and it was so familiar that Dean felt like his heart was being squeezed by an invisible hand. ‘Did something happen at the garage?’

The garage. He was probably a mechanic or something, which was a perfectly reasonable occupation for him to have, one he’d really like, actually. He took a deep breath to steady himself and nodded. 

‘Everything’s fine. I, uh, finished all my work and decided to come home early.’

Castiel smiled. ‘The perks of being the boss, eh?’

Holy shit, he _ran_ the garage? ‘Yeah, guess so.’

‘And you’re looking at our wedding pictures again? Such a softie.’ Castiel cupped Dean’s jaw with one hand and planted a soft kiss on his lips. It felt so loving and sweet, and like it had happened a hundred times before.

Of course, Dean freaked the fuck out.

‘I’m gonna go take a shower,’ he declared perhaps a bit too loudly, shoving the photo album back on the shelf and running towards what he hoped was their bedroom, leaving Castiel looking confused and worried.

It was a comfortable, cosy bedroom, with hardwood floors and a huge bed that Dean was willing to bet would be memory foam. It was neatly made with a dark blue comforter and four plump pillows. Twin nightstands in dark wood with matching lamps stood to either side, and two large chests of drawers stood next to each other along one wall. The other wall had a door that Dean opened to find a reasonably-sized walk-in closet mostly full of plaid; that made him smile, thinking that some things didn’t change much from real life. 

Several pictures hung on the walls: another one from their wedding where they were smashing pie in each other’s faces ( _Fuck yeah, wedding pie_ , Dean let himself think); a selfie of them shirtless on a beach holding up ridiculous cocktails with tiny umbrellas and grinning like fools; an artsy-looking shot clearly taken by someone else of the them slow-dancing in their kitchen; and one of them cuddling a chubby baby between them, with Sam and Eileen smiling at either side of them. Shit, he really was an uncle… he and Castiel were uncles. Sam was a _dad_. He swallowed hard and forced himself to move away and get on with his shower.

The en-suite bathroom was bigger than he expected, with two sinks and a sizable shower cubicle with heads on two walls, clearly built to hold two people. He shivered a bit at the thought of showering with Castiel, something that was probably a habit if they had specifically installed a couple’s shower. Firmly pushing those thoughts aside, he turned on the water, undressed, and stepped inside.

The shower helped Dean think. Part of him wanted to come right out and tell Castiel that he wasn’t his dream husband but the real Dean, here to bring him back to the real world. But the more he thought about it, the more he felt it was important to try and understand exactly what was going on in Castiel’s dream. It could make it easier to convince him to wake up, which was definitely the only reason to linger here and not any other motivations like wanting to spend some time in the dream himself. That was how Dean decided to play along for now and pretend to be the loving husband Castiel was expecting. He figured Castiel would realise it pretty quickly when Dean was crap at it, but he’d cross that bridge when they got to it.

He dried off and picked up some comfortable-looking sweatpants and a t-shirt from what he assumed was his side of the bed based on the Impala-shaped alarm clock on the nightstand. He opened the drawer and slammed it shut again after seeing wet wipes, a bottle of lube and a dildo inside. He didn’t really want to think about what that meant.

Castiel was back in the kitchen stirring whatever was in the pot when Dean came out of the bedroom. Deciding it was as good a time as any to start faking it, he walked over and put his arm slightly awkwardly around Castiel’s waist. 

‘Smells awesome. Uh, sorry about earlier. I was just feeling kinda tired and cranky.’

‘That’s OK,’ Castiel replied, kissing Dean’s cheek. ‘You always look at our wedding pictures when you want to cheer up, so I was just worried about you.’

‘Tell me about the wedding.’

‘Forgotten already? It’s only been a year,’ Castiel teased.

‘You just tell it so well. Come on, sweetheart.’ He squeezed Castiel’s waist and nuzzled against his ear as an inducement.

‘It was in our garden, because I wanted to be surrounded by my flowers. Sam was your best man, and Gabriel was my maid of honour. He insisted on being called that, of course. Bobby got ordained online and performed the ceremony. It was nice and small, just our families plus Charlie, Ellen, Jo, Meg, Balthazar, Jody, Donna, Claire, Kevin, Rowena and Crowley.’

‘Why did we invite Crowley again?’ Dean grimaced, and Castiel laughed.

‘Well, he did introduce us, although his hopes for a threesome were wildly unrealistic.’ Dean groaned, but Castiel ignored him and continued. ‘After the ceremony, we danced until midnight to the playlist you spent three weeks painstakingly putting together. Our first dance was Thank You-’

‘Great choice, can’t go wrong with Zep.’

‘So you said at the time, too. When the party was over, everybody left, and I carried you into the bedroom and fucked you so well you blacked out and completely ruined the lovely pink panties I had given you as a wedding present.’

Dean choked on air. Castiel knew about the panties thing? And wait a minute… _Dean_ was the one who got fucked on their wedding night? 

‘It was a wonderful day, and you’ve made me so happy everyday since, my love.’ Castiel put down the spoon and turned to embrace Dean properly. Dean let himself melt into the hug.

‘Thanks, Cas. I feel better.’

‘That’s my job. This needs to simmer for a couple of hours, so how about we make some hot chocolate, cuddle on the couch and start a Dr Sexy marathon?’

‘Sounds amazing, babe.’ Dean had no idea how he was going to make Castiel wake up, because right now _he_ sure as hell didn’t want to.

They were just starting the third episode of their marathon when Castiel’s hands began to wander. A squeeze of Dean’s knee became a caress of his thigh, creeping up higher inch by inch until his pinky grazed Dean’s crotch. Castiel’s lips found Dean’s neck, his tongue flicked Dean’s earlobe, and without Dean quite knowing how it had happened, he was flat on his back on the couch with Castiel on top, and they were making out like teenagers. 

‘Cas,’ he panted as Castiel sat up to take his shirt off, ‘what about the food?’

‘It’ll keep. I need you now.’ He went for Dean’s lips again, kissing him with unrestrained passion as his hands crept up under Dean’s t-shirt. The kiss paused only long enough for that to come off too, and now they were skin-to-skin. Dean moaned, his hips thrusting up and seeking the matching hardness in Castiel’s jeans. ‘Fuck, Dean, I want to ride you.’ He started kissing his way down Dean’s chest and tugged at Dean’s sweatpants to free his cock. ‘Gorgeous,’ he sighed, and wrapped his mouth around the head.

‘Cas!’ Dean cried out. It felt so good as Castiel swirled his tongue and hollowed his cheeks to provide delicious suction. Dean’s fingers found Castiel’s hair, and his hips thrust up of their own accord, pushing Dean’s cock deeper into Castiel’s throat. He didn’t seem to mind, moaning happily with the intrusion. After a few minutes of this sweet torture, Castiel pulled off and stood up, dropping his jeans and boxers. Dean gaped at the chiselled hip bones, the broad shoulders, and the thick thighs that Castiel’s loose-fitting suit and trenchcoat had always hidden. ‘Fuck, you’re so hot.’

‘You say that like you’ve never seen me naked before,’ Castiel smirked. He reached into the coffee table drawer and produced a bottle of lube. 

‘Handy spot for that,’ Dean joked, which made Castiel roll his eyes.

‘Yes, I know, you’re very clever for storing lube in every room of the house.’ 

Wow, so apparently in Castiel’s dream, Dean was some kind of nympho who wanted to fuck Castiel- or be fucked by him, presumably- in every room of the house. Cool. He could totally deal with that. No reason to freak out about that at all. 

He was too busy freaking out to notice that Castiel had done whatever he needed to do to be ready for dude-on-dude sex (Dean had no real idea what that entailed, he just knew it wasn’t quite as easy as dude-on-girl sex), but he snapped back to reality when he felt Castiel’s lubed hand slick up his cock.

‘Ready for me?’ Castiel asked, but didn’t bother to wait for a reply before climbing aboard USS Dean’s Cock and sliding down slowly until he was fully seated. They both moaned obscenely, and Dean gripped Castiel’s hips tightly to prevent him from moving. 

‘Fuck, Cas, you feel so good,’ he panted through gritted teeth, realising it was the first time he’d ever had sex without a condom. ‘Want you so fucking bad, sweetheart.’ His heart beat wildly in his chest, not having expected how freeing it was to say those words out loud. ‘I love you so much.’

Castiel smiled down at him adoringly. ‘I love you too, Dean. May I move now?’ Dean nodded, and Castiel began to rock slowly, small movements of his hips that got faster and rougher as his orgasm got closer. ‘Dean, please, touch me,’ Castiel panted, and Dean wrapped his fingers around Castiel’s cock for the first time. It felt strange to be touching one that wasn’t attached to himself, but the deep groan that Castiel made as his hip thrusts had him fucking up into Dean’s fist quickly distracted him from any potential freaking out. ‘Dean, I’m… I’m…’ He never finished his sentence, instead just crying out Dean’s name again as he spilled over Dean’s fingers.

‘Holy shit, holy shit!’ Dean moaned himself when his own climax hit in response. Castiel smiled triumphantly as he savoured the last aftershocks, then flopped down onto Dean’s chest.

‘Wonderful,’ he murmured against Dean’s neck. ‘I never thought it could be like this.’

‘Like what?’

‘Perfect.’

Dean skimmed his fingers down Castiel’s spine, feeling the goosebumps come up from his touch. Castiel’s skin was damp with sweat and a little flushed from his exertions, and his hair was even more mussed than before. Dean thought he’d never looked so beautiful. So _happy_.

‘Should we clean up and have dinner, sweetheart?’

‘Mmm, fine, I guess I did work up an appetite.’ With a slight grimace, Castiel unwound himself from Dean, grabbing for tissues on the table to clear the worst of the mess. ‘How about a quick shower first?’

How could Dean deny that cute grin? ‘I already took one, but why the hell not?’ They walked to the bedroom carrying their clothes, and showered together with lots of distracting kisses but nothing more heated. Dean was a little surprised that a supposedly perfect djinn dream had such annoyances as refractory periods; if this were his dream, he’d get rid of these for sure.

The thought made his blood run cold. This _wasn’t_ his dream, this was Castiel’s dream, and Dean had just taken advantage of it to live out his own secret fantasies. Castiel hadn’t signed up for the real Dean to turn up and fuck him, he’d thought he was with his dream Dean, his loving husband who ran a garage and probably had written awesome wedding vows, and treated Castiel like he deserved to be treated. Dean was an impostor in that dream, an interloper who had no right to do what he just did. 

But god, how he had _wanted_ it.

‘Dean? Are you OK?’

His change of mood must have showed on his face, because Castiel had stopped drying off and instead stood with his hand on Dean’s back, a worried wrinkle in his brow. ‘Yeah, sorry, just zoned out for a bit there. I guess I’m just really tired and hungry. We should eat.’

‘If you’re sure,’ Castiel replied, sounding not at all convinced. ‘You finish getting dressed and I’ll serve up.’ He walked out of the room, looking back at Dean once still looking worried, and Dean gave him a weak smile that he was sure didn’t improve the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible dubious consent: Cas and Dean have sex, but Cas doesn't know this is the real Dean. Dean feels guilty about taking advantage of the situation


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: continued dubious consent, see end notes for details

As soon as Castiel was out of sight, Dean flopped back onto the bed (memory foam, as expected). What the hell had he been thinking? How could he tell Castiel the truth now? _Hey Cas, by the way, I’m the real Dean and I want to take you back to the real world full of monsters where God and angels all hate you and we have a shitty life without any love or warmth, and by the way, thanks for the great fuck!_ Yeah, that would go down well.

OK, new plan: he’d go back to the pretending to be Dream Dean thing, and the next day pick a point in the day when he could ‘arrive’ as Real Dean. Maybe Dream Dean would ‘go to work’ in the morning, and Real Dean would ‘show up’ a bit later not knowing what was going on. Yeah, he could probably sell that. He just needed to get through a few more hours of pretending. He could totally keep it in his pants for that long so that he didn’t take advantage of Castiel again. Feeling slightly better, he went back to the kitchen for dinner.

Castiel was serving out the food, what looked like a hearty meat and vegetable stew, and swaying his hips to a song on the radio. Dean couldn’t resist the temptation to join him, so as soon as the second bowl was safely on the counter, Dean came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. They swayed together for a few beats before Castiel turned around and put his arms over Dean’s shoulders. ‘Are you trying to romance me, Mr Winchester?’

‘Maybe I am, Mr Winchester,’ he murmured, making the assumption that Castiel would have taken his last name, since he didn’t actually have one of his own. Castiel just smiled and touched their foreheads together, so Dean had probably gotten that right.

‘I know it’s been over a year, but I never get tired of hearing that,’ Castiel admitted with a sweet blush.

‘Castiel Winchester,’ Dean said, and the way his heart clenched to hear it surprised even him. ‘It sounds pretty good to me.’

Castiel kissed him softly, but afterwards pushed him away with a grin on his face. ‘Come on, at this rate we’ll never eat.’

They ate in companionable silence, Dean taking the opportunity between spoonfuls to stare at this relaxed, human version of Castiel. Gone was the stiff, awkward angel who didn’t understand references and always seemed one hundred percent done with everything around him. This Castiel was confident, cheerful, loving, all the things Dean would wish for him. Yeah, it wasn’t real, but was it really fair to drag him out of this dream, a dream he had _chosen_ to enter voluntarily?

‘Penny for your thoughts,’ Castiel said, breaking Dean’s reverie.

‘Oh. Uh… I was just thinking how this is all I’ve ever wanted for you.’

‘Stew?’

‘No, you dork. Happiness.’ Dean’s cheeks burned, but he figured Dream Dean would probably be more honest with his feelings than Real Dean, and right now, he needed to be Dream Dean. Apparently it was the right thing to say, because Castiel put down his spoon and put his hand to Dean’s cheek.

‘That’s what you give me, my love.’ Dean took the hand and kissed it, giving it a little squeeze before letting go so they could finish their meal. They went back to the Dr Sexy marathon afterwards, managing to get another two episodes in before Cas started yawning.

‘Bedtime, sweetheart?’

‘Yes, please.’ They switched everything off in the rest of the house before taking their turns in the bathroom. Dean finished first and climbed into bed wearing only his boxer-briefs and a t-shirt. As soon as Castiel got into bed, he cuddled against Dean’s chest, and Dean wrapped an arm around his shoulders. ‘Are you working tomorrow?’

‘Uh, yeah, I am.’

‘Then I guess I shouldn’t keep you up too late tonight,’ Castiel said coyly, his fingers running up and down Dean’s chest.

‘I could probably stay awake a bit longer. What did you have in mind?’

‘Talking about our wedding night got me feeling a bit… nostalgic. I thought you could put on that new pair of panties and maybe…’ he trailed off, but waggled his eyebrows and smirked in a way that made his intentions clear.

‘Not sure I follow you, babe, can you be more specific?’ Dean teased, butterflies erupting in his stomach at the implication he was pretending not to get.

‘I want to fuck you while you’re wearing them, watch you ruin them when you come on my cock,’ Castiel whispered in his ear, sending a full-body shiver through him.

Apparently Dean could not keep it in his pants after all.

‘Fuck, yeah, that sounds good, Cas. Uh, where did I put those again?’

‘I think they’re in the bottom drawer of your nightstand.’

Dean opened said drawer and found not one pair of panties, but an entire collection, in many shades and styles. ‘Damn, I’m a kinky fucker,’ he muttered to himself. There were several pink ones, and again he had to make an educated guess about the ones Castiel meant. ‘Is this the one you mean?’ he asked in a teasing tone that he hoped would make Castiel think he was just playing around if he was wrong.

‘That is a favourite, but not the one I had in mind.’

‘Hmm.’ Dean exaggeratedly stroked his chin in though. ‘Maybe you mean this one?’ He dangled a very appealing-looking pair on his fingertip, and Castiel groaned.

‘Stop teasing! You know I mean the one with the bow.’

Dean smirked and dug back into the drawer. Luckily, only one pink pair had a bow, a delicate and satiny number that made him half hard just imagining it on his body. ‘Must be this one, then.’

‘Yes! Put them on for me, beloved, please.’

Dean stood up and did a little striptease that made Castiel chuckle before sliding the panties up his legs and tucking himself in as well as he could. The hunger in Castiel’s eyes prevented any awkwardness he might have felt, reminding him of that first time with Rhonda and how she’d practically pounced on him the second her panties were on him.

‘How do I look?’

‘Edible,’ Castiel growled. ‘Get your ass in bed now.’

‘Ooh, bossy. Yes sir!’ He got back under the covers, and much like Rhonda some twenty years earlier, Castiel could hardly contain himself.

‘So beautiful. Gorgeous. Mine.’ He reached into Dean’s nightstand and got the lube. Dean felt like he should be nervous, terrified even, but right now, he couldn’t fucking _wait_ to have Castiel inside him. He put his arms behind his head and spread his legs, one knee bent up in a seductive pose.

‘How do you want me, sweetheart?’

‘Just like that, Dean. I so like to watch you when I give you pleasure.’ He squeezed a bit of lube onto one finger and pushed the panties aside. ‘I know I usually prefer to go slower, but for some reason I’m just desperate for you tonight, Dean. May I?’

‘Go for it.’ He adjusted his position to give Castiel better access, and suddenly there was a finger partway up his ass. He couldn’t hold back the surprised yelp, and Castiel looked at him a bit sheepishly.

‘Sorry. Should have warmed it up first.’

‘It’s fine,’ Dean squeaked. ‘Keep going.’

Castiel opened him up slowly, kissing his lips, his neck, the shell of his ear, murmuring sweet nothings and words of encouragement, telling Dean over and over how perfect and beautiful he was. It all brought tears to Dean’s eyes that he couldn’t even pretend were due to any physical discomfort.

Finally, after what felt like ages, Castiel pushed inside, and Dean could feel every inch of Castiel’s hot, smooth skin, relishing all of it. He felt completely surrounded and filled by Castiel- nothing had ever felt so good.

‘That’s it, Dean, so beautiful, so perfect for me,’ Castiel murmured. ‘Everything I’ve ever wanted.’

‘Cas… fuck, Cas, I’m gonna…’ All too soon, Dean felt himself go over the edge, his orgasm gently drawn from him through Castiel’s tender ministrations. He felt Castiel’s hips stutter until he followed Dean with a long moan. ‘Well, they’re definitely ruined,’ Dean said when he got his breath back, and Castiel pulled back to observe his handiwork.

‘Gorgeous. I’m so lucky to have you like this.’

‘I’m the lucky one, Cas. Shit, I just…’ he broke off, tears threatening to spill again. It was all too much. Too much emotion, too much openness, too much _happiness_. It was going to be torture to rip them both from this dream world. 

‘Shh, it’s OK, my love,’ Castiel soothed him. ‘Let’s get cleaned up.’ Castiel padded over to the bathroom and brought back a damp washcloth, cleaning Dean with a gentle touch. Afterwards, he threw it in the hamper and crawled back into bed to cuddle with who he thought was his husband. Dean felt wracked with guilt, and decided he couldn’t wait until morning.

‘Cas… I gotta tell you something.’

‘Of course, you can tell me anything. Oh! Wait, before I forget again, I heard from the adoption agency.’

Dean’s heart felt like it stuttered. ‘Uh… are we getting a cat or something?’

Castiel smacked his chest playfully. ‘Haha, very funny. Anyway, the lady said it’s likely to be a long wait for an infant, but if we’re willing to take a toddler, we could potentially be matched within the year.’ He looked at Dean with trepidation and hope. ‘Do you think you’d be OK with a slightly older child?’

Dean felt his entire body clench. A child. A _family_. They were going to start a _family_. This was Castiel’s dream, this was what he wanted in his life. Dean ran his thumb over Castiel’s forehead to smooth the worried furrow away.

‘Yeah, Cas, I think that would be great.’ He mirrored the wide smile that appeared on Castiel’s face. ‘You’ll be a great dad.’

‘Dean!’ Castiel threw himself into Dean’s arms, wildly kissing his face, his neck, his chest, until Dean finally pushed him off with a laugh. ‘Oh, what was it you wanted to talk about?’

No way could Dean fess up now. ‘Oh, nothing important. It was just, uh… I really like those panties, so maybe we should soak them in cold water.’

Castiel groaned. ‘I feel too lazy now. I’ll buy you a new pair.’

Dean chuckled. ‘All right, sounds good. Sleep well, sweetheart. Love you.’

‘Love you,’ Castiel replied, cuddling into Dean’s side. They were both asleep within minutes. 

**********

If he thought about it too hard, Dean’s brain would start hurting with the concept of sleeping while sleeping, so he just let slide when he woke up still inside Castiel’s dream. They were still cuddled together, Dean on his back with Castiel draped over him, a soft snuffle that wasn’t quite a snore escaping his lips every so often. Dean couldn’t resist the urge to hold him a little tighter and place a soft kiss in his hair.

‘Dean?’ Castiel mumbled in a particularly gravelly tone.

‘I’m here, sweetheart.’

‘Coffee?’

‘Sure thing, grumpy, just gimme a minute,’ Dean grinned, but Castiel popped his head up and squinted at him.

‘Who are you, and what have you done with my husband?’ Dean paled, his eyes widening in panic. ‘You said complete sentences before I got your coffee. Did a pod person replace you last night instead of the usual bear?’ He smirked and kissed Dean’s cheek; it had just been a joke about Dean’s usual morning grumpiness, and Dean forced himself to relax.

‘Guess I’m just in a good mood this morning.’

Castiel planted little kisses along his jaw up to his ear. ‘Must’ve been the orgasms yesterday,’ he teased before throwing back the covers and sitting up. ‘Omelettes?’

When Castiel went to the kitchen, Dean got himself ready as he assumed he would for a day working at a garage. It was already nearly nine o’clock, but he assumed from Castiel’s leisurely breakfast making that he didn’t necessarily have a strict schedule for going in. The omelettes were already served when he finally made his way to the kitchen. Also on the table was a thick envelope.

‘Special delivery this morning. The next round of adoption paperwork,’ Castiel explained. ‘Can you help me fill them in before you go to work?’

‘Uh, yeah, sure. Lemme just have breakfast first.’ He ate as slowly as he could, but eventually the plate was empty and the envelope was opened. This was apparently the form where they could state their preferences about age, sex, and ethnicity, plus a whole bunch of other information about their living arrangements and other family. ‘So what do I need to fill out?’

‘I figured you could do the sections about the house and your side of the family, and I’ll do the preferences, employment information, and my side of the family. Sound OK?’

‘Yeah, sure, no problem.’ Dean turned to the section on the house, where it asked for measurements of the rooms, what safety and security equipment was installed, and what provision was being made for the potential adoptee. Dean realised that he didn’t know any of that; hell, he didn’t even know if there was another bedroom, much less what size it was. He decided to move to the family section to see if it was any better. He started off fine, listing John and Mary Winchester as grandparents, but had no idea what their address was or if they were close enough to babysit or whatever. It was even worse for putting information about Sam. Did he live in California? Did Eileen take his last name? What the fuck was their kid called?

Hell, Dean wasn’t even sure where he and Cas lived. Just about the only part of this form he could fill out was his name. He swallowed nervously and tried to figure out how to get the information from Castiel without making him suspicious. ‘Can’t believe we’re gonna be dads soon. It was weird enough becoming an uncle,’ he chuckled. ‘Still a little bitter that Sammy didn’t name the kid after me.’ It was a wild stab, but it hit home.

‘Ha, I knew you weren’t sincere when you said you didn’t mind,’ Castiel teased. ‘But Emma is a much more popular name than Deanna.’

A girl. A little niece. Damn, he really wanted to meet her now. ‘Yeah, guess so. When are we seeing them next?’

Castiel looked at him a bit oddly. ‘Sunday dinner at your parents’ house, like always.’

‘Oh, yeah, I know, just couldn’t remember if we had any other plans before that.’ OK, so they all lived near each other. That was good. ‘Ugh, I always forget Sam’s zip code. What is it again?’

‘94303. Are you feeling OK, Dean?’

‘Yeah, yeah, fine, just maybe need some more coffee.’ While Cas was getting him a refill, he quickly looked up that zip code on his phone. Looked like they were in Palo Alto, then. Interesting. On a hunch, he looked through his phone to see if he had the relevant addresses in his contacts, and to his relief, there it all was. He copied them out, hoping that everything was close enough to right that he’d get away with it. ‘Is it OK if I do the house stuff after work? I want to measure and double-check everything again, make sure it’s exactly right.’

Castiel smiled indulgently. ‘Ever the perfectionist. Of course, my love.’ He put Dean’s coffee in front of him and took the papers out of his hands. ‘I guess I’ll start on my-’ He cut himself off, the colour suddenly draining from his face. He took a few steps back into the kitchen and picked up the knife he’d been using to chop vegetables the night before. ‘Who are you?’

‘Uh… what?’

Castiel came closer and pointed the knife at him threateningly. ‘Who are you? What have you done with Dean?’

‘Shit. What gave it away?’

‘Sam and Eileen both changed their names, hyphenated to Winchester-Leahy. You always give him grief about it, even though you secretly think it’s romantic. You wouldn’t have forgotten… _Dean_ wouldn’t have forgotten.’

‘ _Your_ Dean wouldn’t have forgotten,’ Dean said gently. ‘But I’m not him.’

Castiel scowled and edged the tip of the knife closer. ‘I ask again: who are you?’

‘I’m Dean. The real Dean. From out there.’ He gestured vaguely to indicate the outside world, and Castiel took a couple of stumbling steps back.

‘The real… No. No, that isn’t possible.’

‘We found you at the motel. You’d taken djinn poison. We brought you back to the bunker and I took dream root to come get you out.’

Castiel shook his head. ‘No. You wouldn’t… _he_ wouldn’t do that. He’s angry, he can’t forgive me. He let me leave… he hates me.’ The last sentence was barely above a whisper, and Dean’s heart clenched.

‘He… _I_ don’t hate you, Cas. I never could. Yeah, I was angry, I said some stupid shit. But I do forgive you, of course I forgive you. Fuck… I mean… You’re my best friend but I just let you go… because that was easier than admitting that I was wrong.’ He felt tears prick his eyes, but he forced himself to keep going. ‘I don’t know why I get so angry. I just know that it’s just always been there... and when things go bad it... it just comes out and I can’t stop it. No matter how bad I want to, I just can’t stop it. I know that’s a shitty excuse, and you deserve better.’ He swept his arm wide to indicate the cottage. ‘You deserve _this_. Happiness, love, a family. I don’t blame you for coming in here after what I did. But it’s not real.’

Castiel finally put down the knife and collapsed into his chair, looking defeated. ‘It’s more real than anything I could have out there.’

‘That’s not true, Cas. We could have this out there. Maybe not the cottage in California, but _this_ ,’ he waved his hand between them, ‘ _us_ , we could have.’

‘You don’t mean that. You don’t understand what that means for me.’

‘Pretty sure I do, Cas. I mean, I’m legally dead and you don’t exist, so we probably couldn’t have a real wedding, but-’

‘Dean,’ Castiel cut him off harshly. ‘This isn’t a joke. The djinn venom created a dream with all of my deepest desires. We aren’t just 'best friends' here. We’re-’

‘Married. Actually married. In love. Starting a family. I know,’ Dean assured him, taking his hand to emphasise his point. ‘And I’m in.’

‘But you like women.’

‘And you. And Han Solo. And Dr Sexy. I maybe haven’t been completely honest about all my… preferences.’

‘Oh. But still, that doesn’t mean you would want to… consummate a marriage with me.’

‘I thought I was pretty into it last night. Both times,’ he smirked, and Castiel’s jaw dropped.

‘That was you? Real you?’

‘Shit. Yeah, it was, and I’m sorry. I know I took advantage of the situation, I know it wasn’t _me_ me you thought you were with, but I just… fuck, Cas, I wanted you so bad, and knowing that you felt the same… I couldn’t stop myself. God, that sounds so creepy, I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.’

‘While I appreciate your recognition that there was some dubiousness about my consent in that situation, I promise you that I’m not upset about it.’ He stood up and closed the distance between them, straddling Dean’s legs to sit on his lap. ‘You wanted me?’

Dean groaned and ran his hands up and down Castiel’s muscular back. ‘So much, Cas. All the time. For years.’

‘Me too. Since… well, since I raised you from perdition, really, though I didn’t recognise it for what it was then.’ He leaned forward tentatively, and Dean finished closing the distance by pulling him in and crashing their lips together. They only pulled apart several minutes later, both panting and hard.

‘Fuck, Cas. Imagine how good this is gonna be in real life.’

Castiel pulled back, a sad smile on his face. ‘I’m afraid that won’t be possible, Dean.’

‘What? Why not? Is this about the djinn queen you married? Because Sam thought that was just ceremonial or something.’

‘It was. There was no fidelity clause, and I can even take multiple spouses. But that’s not why. It’s…’ He sighed. ‘I made a deal.’

‘What kinda deal?’

‘When Jack died, the Shadow of the Empty wanted to take him because of his angelic half, despite him having lost his grace. It attacked Heaven and tried to take him, but I offered myself in exchange.’ Dean opened his mouth to interrupt, but Castiel put a finger to his lips. ‘It agreed, but said it wouldn’t take me right away. It would wait until I had all but forgotten about the deal and let myself be truly happy, and then it would take me. Let’s just say it holds a grudge.’

‘And you think being with me would make you that kind of happy?’ Dean asked, in awe.

‘I can imagine little else that could. Having Jack back, being a family again… that might work, but having your love would be the greatest happiness I can imagine.’

‘Jesus, Cas. No pressure.’ Dean ran a hand through his hair, a gesture of frustration as he tried to think of a solution. ‘Look, even if we do hook up out there, that doesn’t mean things’ll be happy, right? Jack is still dead, Chuck is still after us; it could all still go to hell real fast. We’re gonna be tired, stressed, worried- we’ve still got a lot of crap to deal with with, we’ll just add your stupid deal to the pile. But I’d rather face it together.’ He took Castiel’s hands and intertwined their fingers. ‘Also, sex is great stress relief from the hard grind of killing monsters and possibly God.’ He waggled his eyebrows, drawing a hearty laugh from Castiel.

‘You make a compelling argument. OK… OK, if you really think we can do this… I’m in too.’ After a short bout of celebratory making out, they got down to business.

‘So is it the usual thing where you have to kill yourself to get out?’ Dean asked. 

‘No, I’m in full control. I can make myself wake up anytime I choose.’

‘And I’ll wake up when you wake up?’

‘I can also make you wake up through my own will, so you aren’t dependent on me waking up.’ Castiel tilted his head, a thought clearly just occurring to him. ‘If you had needed me to wake up for you to escape, what would you have done if I’d refused to leave my dream?’

Dean took Castiel’s face in both hands. ‘That wasn’t an option, Cas. I wasn’t gonna leave without you.’

‘Dean,’ Castiel murmured, the name a prayer on his lips as he nuzzled against Dean’s hand.

‘I need you, Cas. I didn’t leave you in Purgatory, I wasn’t gonna leave you here. Capisce?’

‘Yeah, I capisce.’

‘Good. So, what now, count of three and we’re outta here?’

Castiel smiled and pressed another kiss to Dean’s lips. ‘Three.’

Epilogue

Dean woke with a jolt, and Sam was up from his chair instantly.

‘Did you get through to him, Dean?’ Sam asked as he helped Dean sit up. 

Dean looked over at a still-unconscious Castiel. 'Why isn't he awake?' he asked despairingly, lightly smacking his cheeks and shaking him. 'We agreed to come out of the dream together!'

Sam began to stutter a reply, but the words died on his lips as he watched his brother with Castiel. 

Dean brought their foreheads together and whispered frantically, 'C'mon babe, wake up for me. You said you were in, sweetheart, you said we’d have it all out here.’

Sam stepped quietly toward them, feeling like an intruder 'Babe? Since when do you call Cas babe? Dean, what happened while you were out?' 

Still whispering at Castiel and holding him he looked up at Sam with damp eyes. 'His dream life was with me, Sammy. Married, about to adopt a kid, apple pie, all of it.' Dean pulled the still sleeping form of Castiel to his chest. ‘It’s mine, too,’ he added softly. ‘He is.’

Sam's eyes went wide 'That's… wow, uh... that's a lot to unpack but--' He was interrupted by a desperate look from Dean.

'Sammy why won't he wake up? We agreed to give the dream a shot here in the real world but…'

Sam thought for a minute while Dean continued to plead with Castiel in whispers and gentle touches. 'Maybe his subconscious is holding him back, like part of him still believes he can't have that here.' 

Dean's head fell to Castiel's chest 'It was wonderful, Sammy, that life with him. I _need_ him, I _love_ him; he _has_ to wake up, I can't handle this life without him in it.'

Sam placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, making him look up. 'OK, I'm going to go do some more research on this. Just watch over him, we'll wake him up.' In a weak attempt to lighten the mood, Sam chuckled and suggested, 'You never know, maybe true love’s kiss will wake him up.' From the dark look Dean gave him, Sam assumed that Dean wasn’t in the mood for black humour and beat a hasty retreat.

Dean returned to resting his forehead on Castiel's and whispering reassurance that the dream could continue outside Castiel’s head, but there was still no response. With a sigh, Dean pulled back. ‘Oh, what the hell?’ he muttered, and looking around to make sure nobody could see him making a fool of himself, he cupped Castiel’s face and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. Tears slid down his cheeks when there was no responding pressure, and he tucked Castiel’s head against his shoulder in a tight embrace.

Then he felt a shuddering breath on his neck.

'Cas?' he asked desperately, pulling back just far enough to see Castiel’s eyelids fluttering. He wasn't quite fully awake yet, but he clung to Dean like a life-line. Dean couldn't hold in his smile as he surged forward for another kiss; after a moment with no response, he felt Castiel's hands come up to the sides of his face, trying to pull him impossibly closer, and he was being kissed back in return. Breathy moans accompanied wandering hands as Dean pushed Castiel flat on his back and climbed fully on top of him, both desperate for touch and each other, the real world making everything a hundred times more intense than it had been in the dream.

From the hallway, Dean vaguely heard Sam’s voice getting closer again. 'Hey Dean, I think I have an idea- uh… never mind I'll just… uh, yeah…’ Dean didn’t even bother to stop kissing Castiel, and was only dimly aware of the sound of Sam’s footsteps fading twice as quickly as they’d appeared.

Finally breaking apart for air, Dean refused to put any more distance than was strictly necessary between them. ‘Thought you weren’t gonna wake up,’ he said breathlessly, choking up as he pictured Castiel lying unresponsive in his arms.

‘I apologise for the delay,’ Castiel replied sheepishly. ‘I was… well, to be honest, it was difficult to leave.’

‘Those were pretty sweet digs. That bed was somethin’ else.’

‘No. I mean, yes, it was wonderful. The cottage, the garden, all of that was perfect. But that’s not why, exactly.’

Dean frowned, going up onto his forearms to give him enough space to look at Castiel’s face. ‘I can’t blame you for not wanting to come back here, Cas. This life… shit, it’s always been hard, but with Jack dead and literal, actual _God_ having it out for us, we’re pretty much at rock bottom. It’s OK.’ Castiel shook his head, a frustrated huff his only reply to that. ‘Is there something else?’

‘I was scared,’ Castiel admitted. ‘I knew that if I stayed there, eventually the dream-you would return, and things would go back to how they were before. I would continue to live the fantasy. But if I woke up…’ He trailed off, looking guilty and unable to meet Dean’s eye.

‘Oh. You thought I was just saying whatever I needed to do to get you out. You didn’t think I meant what I said.’ Dean’s tone was flat, but his eyes betrayed his pain.

‘Djinn dreams are very powerful, and this one was formed of the combined forces of a djinn queen and angel grace. It was a very real possibility that you were merely being affected by the strength of my own feelings, and that the effect would fade once you were awake. I didn’t want to open my eyes to see shame and regret in yours.’ He swallowed hard, a human affectation he had probably picked up from Dean. ‘We didn’t exactly part on good terms, Dean. To go from that to what we had in there… I hope you don’t blame me for suspecting that it was too good to be true.’

Dean sighed and let his head fall to Castiel’s chest. ‘I don’t blame you. Hell, after the way I treated you, I can’t believe you even wanted to see my face again, never mind be _married_ to me.’

‘I always want to be where you are,’ Castiel assured him, cupping his face to pull him into another kiss. ‘Even when you’re being an infuriating assbutt.’

‘You love my assbutt,’ Dean teased, wiggling said area teasingly. Castiel grabbed it with both hands in confirmation.

‘I love all of you. But certain parts of you do feature more prominently than others in my thoughts.’

‘I’m gettin’ some favourites myself,’ Dean admitted with a smirk. ‘Dream’s starting to fade, though. I think I need to refresh my memory.’

‘Speaking of which, I was curious as to whether memory foam really is as comfortable in real life as I had imagined in my dream.’ Dean climbed off of Castiel and stood up, holding his hand out to his angel in invitation. 

‘Only one way to find out.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dubious consent: Dean and Cas have sex again before Dean admits he's the real Dean. Cas appreciates his apology afterwards, but doesn't feel violated.

**Author's Note:**

> Malak alzawj: Angel husband


End file.
